Dr. Birnbaum Takes Exit 3

by Steven C. Schlozman

The LCD display on the car radio dial speaks directly, without permission, to my genitals.

I do my best to ignore my genitals.

This is of course cause for substantial alarm. I am acutely aware, both by virtue of my profession and by the mere happenstance of my gender, that when I ignore my genitals I hazard great personal peril.

(It is risky, to say the least, when one’s genitals act without first asking or being granted permission.)

I’ve pushed the special button on my dashboard that allows modern radiant ambience from the electric heater in my seat to snake its way up through my groin. I allow my to car weave in and out of highway lanes, migrating my way, as it were, towards predictable suburban nonchalance.

This is dangerous, this feeling. My loins are aroused and my car is fast-moving, and I am in fact paying attention to neither.

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